Florida Woman Says Cops Yanked Her Tampon Out at Gunpoint During a Traffic Stop [Blergh]

A woman named Leila Tarantino is suing the Citrus County sheriff's department for allegedly strip-searching her on the side of the road while her two children watched. Because she "maybe" rolled through a stop sign.

UM, 'KAY, FLORIDA.

A passing cop pulled a u-turn, flashed the lights, and rolled up behind her. Tarantino claims that the cop immediately drew his weapon, pulled her from the car, and refused to explain why he pulled her over. Tarantino's two young children watched all of this unfold from inside her car.

The cop then placed Tarantino in the back of the squad car, where she allegedly sat for two hours. When backup arrived, Tarantino was strip searched on the side of the road, where passing motorists could see everything.

Then, in a gruesome twist, a female officer "forcibly removed" a tampon from Tarantino. Presumably, the cops were looking for drugs, but the lawsuit notes that a drug-sniffing dog was never called in, and cops never found any contraband or anything illegal.

The officers eventually released Tarantino with a citation.

Okay. Now. Obviously I have no idea WTF happened here, but I'm confident that I do not like it and I do not want to subscribe to its newsletter. Obviously there are some details missing. What is the cops' (there were SIX of them) supposed motive? Was it racial profiling? Did this lady just give off a there's-drugs-in-my-vag vibe? Are the kids smoking tampons these days?

Seems to me that forcibly extracting a tampon from an unfamiliar vagina on the side of a steaming Florida highway is a punishment more than a frolic—not exactly something one does for shits and giggles with the bros—but what do I know? It also seems that if one truly suspected a motorist of hiding contraband inside her vestibule, one could investigate it in the privacy of the police station rather than in front of the motorist's traumatized children. But, again, I'm not a police scientist. This one's all yours, justice. I'm out.

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World's Worst Son 'Rubs Dog Defecation' in Mom's Face During Argument [Poop]

It's a classic tale: Son demands vodka, mother yells at son, son acquires feces, son smears feces in mother's face, son goes to jail. (Or, the short version: Florida.)

Via the Smoking Gun:

Cops arrested William Jenkins, 22, on a felony domestic battery charge for pushing his mother, 53, to the floor during the dispute, according to a Palmetto Police Department report.

When questioned by cops, Jenkins denied pushing his mother, but admitted that he "did rub dog defecation on her face because she yelled at him," investigators noted.

The confrontation between Jenkins, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, was apparently prompted by his mother's refusal to provide him with a shot of vodka.

Jenkins retrieved the dog feces from the home's back porch, where his mother's dog had relieved itself. He "then reached down with his hand picked up the dog defecation and rubbed it in his mother's face," cops reported.

Ah, yes. Nothing like the old, "I didn't push her—I just rubbed shit in her face, JEEZ" defense. The whole thing went down in Manatee County, Florida, which makes everything better because then you can pretend that the entire police department is staffed by actual manatees in tiny caps. And then the detective manatee goes a little off the rails and the chief manatee is like, "Jimmy, you're getting too close to this case! Give me your gun and badge!" and Jimmy's like, "Chief, I can nail this guy!" and then they both get distracted and go munch kelp. Manatee County. That's free, Hollywood. That's for you.

Florida Police Arrest Worst Son In The World [TSG]

Photo credit: Cory Thoman/Stockfresh.

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Total Recall's Original Three-Breasted Woman Fought Back Tears During Her Topless Scene [Notable/quotable]

1990's Total Recall, now seeing a remake starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, et. al, may best be remembered for a two-second scene in which a three-breasted woman exposes herself to Arnold Schwarzenegger. The woman who originated the part, day player Lycia Naff, went on to write for OK! Magazine, People Magazine, and the Miami Herald. She divulged to Vulture that four breasts were the original plan until they tested poorly ("too bovine"), compared Schwarzenegger to a "baby bird" and "an automaton" in the same breath, and admitted her discomfort while filming:

It didn't hit me until the first moment where the scene called for me to expose myself, because what came over me was such shame. Which was weird, because they weren't my breasts, and it was what I had signed up to do. So why was I getting a reality shock now? I started to cry, and if you look closely at those scenes when I'm opening my blouse, I'm smiling, but not in my eyes.

She also wished her successor in the remake, Kaitleen Leeb, the best of luck with the "horny sci-fi fanboys" and myriad other opportunities that scared her shitless at the time.

I was so petrified when all the reality of it sunk in. Entertainment Tonight wanted to me to come on the show, me and the guy with the one eye, so they could do a piece on the prosthetics, and I said no. Johnny Carson wanted me to come and sit on his couch, and I said no. I was stupid, embarrassed, and young. Now, looking back, why not? Why not make a goof of it?

'A Candid Conversation With Total Recall's Original Three-Breasted Woman' [Vulture]

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World's Worst Dating Website Asks Who You'd Want By Your Side During a 'Dark Night'-esque Tragedy [Omg Wtf]

All hope for humanity is officially lost: Death and Taxes' Ned Hepburn received a press release from a dating website asking readers who they'd want by their side on a first date "IN THE EVENT OF A TRAGEDY LIKE THE DARK NIGHT MASSACRE." (Emphasis ours, out of emotional necessity.)

We don't expect all that much in terms of class from WhatsYourPrice.com, which is basically like Ebay for women. (No, that doesn't mean it's Pinterest-y, it means you actually get to bid on female humans.) But this goes above and beyond all our seedy advertising expectations. An excerpt:

Hi [redacted],

In the event of a tragedy like the Dark Knight Massacre, who would you want by your side on a first date? One online dating website asked their members what they would do on a first date if they found themselves in danger, and the answer may surprise you. If you are holding out for a hero, dating someone who is generous, but not necessarily wealthy, may be the difference between life and death.

During the Dark Knight Massacre, three men lost their lives to save the lives of their girlfriends. But what if you were on a first date, and you had only just met? How do you differentiate the courageous from the cowardly? According to the results of the survey of over 20,000 generous male members, it's by generosity, but a man's generosity is not defined by the size of his wallet. In fact, men who make between $80,000 to $150,000 per year are more likely to take a bullet for you on a first date.Those who fall outside of that income bracket, are significantly less likely to put their well being over that of their date's, on a first date.

Read the rest here.

Online dating website trying to capitalize on Aurora shooting tragedy [Death and Taxes]

(Image via WhatsYourPrice.com)

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Saudi Judo Champion Will Wear Special, Ass-Kicking Hijab During Olympic Competition [Olympics]

Jul 31, 2012 12:10 PM  

Saudi judo champion Wojdan Ali Seraj Abdulrahim Shaherkani will wear a hijab after all when she takes part in the Olympic Judo competition. A Saudi National Olympic Committee spokeswoman said that the IOC and the International Judo Federation had settled on a version of the headscarf for Shaherkani to wear that was most appropriate for competitive ass-kicking. Shaherkani had previously said that she wouldn't compete without a hijab, which meant the the IJF's insistence that she fight "according to the principle and spirit of judo," i.e. with a bare head, proved to blossom into a thorny issue until this latest compromise.

IJF spokesman Nicolas Messner confirmed that Shaherkani would compete in the heavyweight category on Friday, but offered no additional details. Shaherkani is one of two Saudi women to travel to London this year after the IOC successfully persuaded a string of conservative Muslim nations including Qatar and Brunei to end their bans on sending female competitors to the games.

Saudi woman allowed to compete in hijab [Reuters via Yahoo!]

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Connie Britton Closes Her Eyes During Taylor Kitsch's Sex Scenes [Notable/quotable]

As glorious-maned dream mom Tami Taylor I mean, Connie Britton, gets ready to play a country music doyenne in the new ABC drama Nashville, Vulture asked her some questions about the Friday Night Lights (script is written but schedules haven't aligned) and her concerns about having sex with a rubber dude on American Horror Story:

I was just coming off of Friday Night Lights and people really held that character in really high regard. This is kind of silly, but I was concerned about being a character in a marriage, playing a marriage, and in some way not living up to whatever those expectations were.

When Britton's character Vivien Harmon gave birth on the show, Britton (who has one adopted child and has not given birth herself) went to the co-star you'd expect for advice on screaming authentically in medias res of delivery:

I was grilling Jessica Lange on exactly what the pain is like in childbirth. She was trying to describe exactly what the pain was, the level of pain. It's just awful, basically. I wanted to be so specific, though. I didn't want to be cliché like [rolls her eyes back and makes a grunting noise]. I figured she knows. Jessica knows all.

Finally, she was asked if she saw Savages, the Oliver Stone sex-and-drugs extravaganza starring Blake Lively, Aaron Johnson and her former co-star Taylor Kitsch, with whom she keeps in touch.

I did, yes. I, um … I had to close my eyes a lot.

'Connie Britton on Singing for Nashville and the Odds of a Friday Night Lights Movie' [Vulture]

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