New Dating Website Does Not Quite Deliver On Promise to Let You 'Create Your Own Christian Grey" [Online Dating]

"When you close your eyes, can you easily picture your dream person down to the smallest details, including the exact shape and shade of their eyes or the style and color of their hair?" That is what new dating/paper doll website iDreamofU wants to know.

Here's how it works: you answer a lot of incredibly nitpicky questions (Have you ever thought about your ideal facial structure? No? You have so much to learn!) and then the site tries to match you with someone in their database that fits your curated dreams. "Christian Grey is an iDreamofU Away!" the site promises. Obviously, I was intrigued.

I spent way too long tinkering with iDreamofU's buggy system. The site asked about my ethnicity and then gave me an error message when I tried to create a dude who wasn't Caucasian — which I am going to assume was a bug and not an anti-interracial dating PSA — and it took me a long time for a bunch of other boring reasons to create my own personal dating Frankenstein. You can check him out below. He looks like a bro/the fourth Jonas brother. (My research shows that it is as impossible to create a non-white guy as it is to construct a non-bro.) I shall call him Josh.

To create this AMAZING MAN, I had to pick my ideal facial structure, hairstyle, eye, nose and mouth shapes and sizes and then rank all of those attributes in order of importance. Then, I had to answer a bunch of stock questions about things that are important to me and the kind of woman I am/man I'm looking for. (Look at all of my choices! I picked "Soul of a Woman," obv.)

And what did I get in exchange for all of my hard work, besides my "casually dressed" bro beau? A bunch of matches that looked nothing like him and had nothing to do with the options I selected. I said I wanted someone between 24-30 who lived near me, and iDreamofU gave me a 19-year-old kid who promised "I am not one of those Justin Bieber skateboard dudes." (What does Justin have to do with skateboards? I don't know what the teens are talking about!), some blondes (I SAID BROWN CURLY HAIR, OBVIOUSLY) and a 52-year-old with a koala avatar. My matches were spread all over the country.

Guys: I'm sorry to break it to you, but you might not find the love of your life via iDreamOfU. ::Sob::

[Via YourTango]

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World's Worst Dating Website Asks Who You'd Want By Your Side During a 'Dark Night'-esque Tragedy [Omg Wtf]

All hope for humanity is officially lost: Death and Taxes' Ned Hepburn received a press release from a dating website asking readers who they'd want by their side on a first date "IN THE EVENT OF A TRAGEDY LIKE THE DARK NIGHT MASSACRE." (Emphasis ours, out of emotional necessity.)

We don't expect all that much in terms of class from WhatsYourPrice.com, which is basically like Ebay for women. (No, that doesn't mean it's Pinterest-y, it means you actually get to bid on female humans.) But this goes above and beyond all our seedy advertising expectations. An excerpt:

Hi [redacted],

In the event of a tragedy like the Dark Knight Massacre, who would you want by your side on a first date? One online dating website asked their members what they would do on a first date if they found themselves in danger, and the answer may surprise you. If you are holding out for a hero, dating someone who is generous, but not necessarily wealthy, may be the difference between life and death.

During the Dark Knight Massacre, three men lost their lives to save the lives of their girlfriends. But what if you were on a first date, and you had only just met? How do you differentiate the courageous from the cowardly? According to the results of the survey of over 20,000 generous male members, it's by generosity, but a man's generosity is not defined by the size of his wallet. In fact, men who make between $80,000 to $150,000 per year are more likely to take a bullet for you on a first date.Those who fall outside of that income bracket, are significantly less likely to put their well being over that of their date's, on a first date.

Read the rest here.

Online dating website trying to capitalize on Aurora shooting tragedy [Death and Taxes]

(Image via WhatsYourPrice.com)

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