New Dating Website Does Not Quite Deliver On Promise to Let You 'Create Your Own Christian Grey" [Online Dating]

"When you close your eyes, can you easily picture your dream person down to the smallest details, including the exact shape and shade of their eyes or the style and color of their hair?" That is what new dating/paper doll website iDreamofU wants to know.

Here's how it works: you answer a lot of incredibly nitpicky questions (Have you ever thought about your ideal facial structure? No? You have so much to learn!) and then the site tries to match you with someone in their database that fits your curated dreams. "Christian Grey is an iDreamofU Away!" the site promises. Obviously, I was intrigued.

I spent way too long tinkering with iDreamofU's buggy system. The site asked about my ethnicity and then gave me an error message when I tried to create a dude who wasn't Caucasian — which I am going to assume was a bug and not an anti-interracial dating PSA — and it took me a long time for a bunch of other boring reasons to create my own personal dating Frankenstein. You can check him out below. He looks like a bro/the fourth Jonas brother. (My research shows that it is as impossible to create a non-white guy as it is to construct a non-bro.) I shall call him Josh.

To create this AMAZING MAN, I had to pick my ideal facial structure, hairstyle, eye, nose and mouth shapes and sizes and then rank all of those attributes in order of importance. Then, I had to answer a bunch of stock questions about things that are important to me and the kind of woman I am/man I'm looking for. (Look at all of my choices! I picked "Soul of a Woman," obv.)

And what did I get in exchange for all of my hard work, besides my "casually dressed" bro beau? A bunch of matches that looked nothing like him and had nothing to do with the options I selected. I said I wanted someone between 24-30 who lived near me, and iDreamofU gave me a 19-year-old kid who promised "I am not one of those Justin Bieber skateboard dudes." (What does Justin have to do with skateboards? I don't know what the teens are talking about!), some blondes (I SAID BROWN CURLY HAIR, OBVIOUSLY) and a 52-year-old with a koala avatar. My matches were spread all over the country.

Guys: I'm sorry to break it to you, but you might not find the love of your life via iDreamOfU. ::Sob::

[Via YourTango]

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Christian College Suing Over Birth Control Mandate Didn't Realize it Already Covered Contraception [Pill Baby Pill]

Wheaton College, a private Christian school in Illinois, wishes to be exempt from the Obama administration's newly-enacted birth control insurance mandate, like other religious-run schools and hospitals. But there's one problem: Wheaton doesn't qualify for the exemption, despite the fact that they're adamantly against emergency contraception and birth control and all the unbridled harlotry that proliferates in the presence of the two evil medicines. The reason they don't qualify? Turns out that before all this Obamacare business, the school was already covering emergency contraception. I believe the technical word for what just happened is "Derp."

The Obama administration has offered to make concessions for religious-run schools and hospitals that are morally opposed to covering birth control. Rather than mandating that their sponsored insurance plans start covering 100% of the costs of contraception and sterilization this year, holy rollers have got until August 1st, 2013 to make a plan around how they're going to fit icky, icky whore pills into their employees' health care plans. And even after religious institutions' mandate kicks in, they won't have to cover any of the cost of procedures they find morally objectionable — that will fall on the shoulders of insurance companies. In order for religious-run schools and hospitals to qualify for this so-called "safe haven," they had to verify that their insurance policies didn't cover contraception or sterilization after February 10, 2012.

Should be easy enough, right? If a religious-run institution truly and sincerely believed that birth control pills cause millions of tiny zygote deaths, they'd totally be on the stick about making sure that they weren't helping their group plan enrollees pay for it, right? Again, derp.

The Huffington Post's Laura Bassett reports that Wheaton College, despite its serious, serious opposition to emergency contraception (school leadership's stance is that Plan B causes abortions, which it doesn't, but facts have no place in organized religion), the school "inadvertently" covered emergency contraception after the cutoff date of February 10th, which means they don't qualify for the exemption. And now, even though they're at fault for not taking the necessary precautions, Wheaton's administration finds itself pregnant — with rage.

When Bassett asked a school spokesperson how long emergency contraception coverage existed on Wheaton's plan, they referred her to a legal fund that's supporting the school's lawsuit against the Obama administration. Which means they were probably covering Plan B for a very, very long time. And the entire college didn't implode.

But that hasn't stopped Wheaton's team from playing the persecuted victim in their lawsuit against the law that would require them to provide coverage that they were already providing,

"Everyone knows Wheaton is a school that lives out its faith," Duncan said. "But today our government is telling Wheaton it is not ‘religious enough' to have a conscience, and so can be forced to participate in abortions or face heavy fines. Wheaton has always provided generous employee benefits, but now the government is forcing it to choose between caring for its employees and honoring its faith."

Yes, faith that was so vitally important that it was ignored for God knows how long.

One more time, with feeling: Derp.

[HuffPo]

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