Mitt Romney Gives Zero Fucks About His Fancy Dancing Horse's Olympic Dreams [Mitt Romney]

Mitt Romney's visit to the UK would have been disastrous enough if he'd just shut up after pissing off the British press, the Prime Minister, and the mayor of London. But he had to take it a step farther and go beyond insulting his host country and their Olympic efforts — in an attempt to get people to think he was cool, he strongly, vehemently disavowed interest in watching his wife's expensive dressage horse compete in equestrian events. He won't be watching at all, he says. He doesn't care! In fact, he doesn't even know what a horse sport is! Horses are for dorks!

The anti-horse comments came during the same Brian Williams interview that produced the puzzlingly bizarre comments about how London's Olympic preparations were inadequate because there ain't no Olympic party like a Salt Lake City Olympic party because a Salt Lake City Olympic party was organized by Mitt Romney. Williams urged Romney to share his feelings about having a personal stake in these Games; one of Romney's horses will be competing in the equestrian event. But rather than express pride in his nerdy rich guy hobby, Romney acted like he didn't know anything about the horse he'd spent a small fortune on training, maintaining, and housing. The Presidential candidate told Williams, "I have to tell you, this is Ann's sport. I am not even sure what day the sport goes on. She will get the chance to see it. I will not be watching the event. I hope her horse does well."

Romney then pretended that he didn't know how a dressage competition works, even though, as the LA Times points out, he's a huge Olympics nerd who has picked competition music for his horses in the past.

All of this kind of reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons when the family goes on vacation and Lisa tries to rebrand herself as a cool wearer of sunglasses who says "like, whatever" a lot. Or that part in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan's character pretends to be bad at math so her floppy haired crush will like her. Mitt's all, I'm not a clueless rich guy with one of the most expensive hobbies in the world! I don't even know what a hundred dollar bill looks like! Who's on that? Lance Bass? I don't like horses, I like dirt bikes and saying Git Er Done. Vote for me for America's Prom King. I will throw a kegger that doesn't serve caviar because I don't even know what that is!

Mittens, if you have to lie about your true self in order to get people to accept you, they're not your real friends.

[LAT]

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It's Gonna Be a While Before Pole Dancing Is in the Olympics [Video]

The folks of the International Pole Sports Federation would love for pole dancing to be in the 2016 Olympics. Recently, the IPSF held an "Olympic Exhibition Event," and, according to their website, "pole sports athletes across the world are ready to get their sport recognized by the greatest sporting event in the world, the Olympic Games."

In an interview with Buzzfeed, Timothy Trautman of the IPSF said that having pole dancing in the Olympic Games is the only way for people to realize that pole dancers are incredible athletes: "They have such grace and elegance and they absolutely belong in the Olympics. But we do fight the stereotype that it's for strippers."

Having attended a competitive pole fitness event myself, I will argue that pole enthusiasts are unbelievably strong, flexible and fit. There's no doubt that they are athletes. But when it comes right down to it, with all the splayed limbs, wide-open splits and crotches as the center of attention, pole sport will have a tough time going truly mainstream. In many societies, between-the-legs is still a no-no place, instigating snickers and "naughty" thoughts. When it comes to displays of strength in the Olympics, the look is mostly conservative: Most of the the competitors in women's gymnastics wear long sleeves; the men's volleyball players do not go bare-chested; swimmers are covered to the knee, which makes Mark Spitz's retro swim trunks look tiny.

And yeah, folks still associate pole work with stripping, even though stripping is about taking clothes off.

U.S. National Pole Dancing Champion Natasha Wang (in the clip above) tells the Huffington Post: "My stance has always been that while I support the pole community's efforts to get pole into the Olympics, I don't think the general public is ready for the sport yet on such a mainstream/public scale."

ESPN blogger DJ Gallo argues that if table tennis, archery and sailing are sports, then so is pole dancing. Of course, he's not on the IOC.

Pole Dancing Champ Natasha Wang Skeptical Sport Can Vault Into 2016 Olympics (VIDEO) [HuffPo]
Can Pole Dancing Get Recognized As An Olympic Sport? [Buzzfeed]
Should pole dancing be an Olympic sport? [ESPN]

Earlier: The Wild World Of Competitive Pole Fitness
The New Magazine That's Just For Pole Dancers

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Giant Dancing Walrus Should Win Custody of Jackson Children [Video]

Jul 28, 2012 4:45 PM  

I... okay. So this was first posted in March, but only now has it hit maximum viral capacity. And why not? What better way to Gorilla Glue the torn-asunder Jackson family unit back together than the well-trained swagger* of a large-flippered marine mammal† in Troy Aqua Park and Dolphinarium in Belek, Turkey? There is none. Reconciliation is imminent.

*Incidentally, the walrus' Latin name, Odobenus rosmarus, means "tooth-walking sea cow." Could also double as (A) a Shakespearean insult or (B) grounds for divorce.

†Don't try to walk for at least 5 minutes after you watch this because you've been hit by, you've been struck by, the smoothest tooth-walking sea cow.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

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Bristol Palin Loves Dancing on TV So Much She's Doing It Again [Video]

Even though she has her own program (on which she admits she's doing a terrible job disciplining her son, who utters words the FCC won't allow) Bristol Palin just can't get enough of the spotlight. The cast of Dancing With The Stars: All Stars has been announced, and your girl BriPal (Brilin?) is number one on the list of names, alongside Pamela Anderson, Kelly Monaco, Melissa Rycroft, Shawn Johnson, Kirstie Alley, Joey Fatone, Helio Castroneves, Drew Lachey, Emmitt Smith, Apolo Ohno and Gilles Marini. Can't wait to see what kind of songs Bristol will boogie to this time — last year she shimmied to "Mama Told Me Not To Come." [NYDN]

Sad news: Lupe Ontiveros, the Texas-born actress best known for roles in Selena and The Goonies (she was Rosalita), died today of liver cancer at the age of 69. In 2009, she spoke about how she'd played a maid 300 times.

"You'd say, 'You want an accent?' And they'd say, 'Yes, we prefer for you to have an accent.' And the thicker and more waddly it is, the more they like it… I long to play a judge. I long to play a lesbian woman. I long to play a councilman, someone with some chutzpah."

But she also told LA Weekly: "I've had a hell of a good time playing those maids… No matter how much I resent the stupidity that is written into them, the audacity that the industry has when they portray us in such a nonsensical, idiotic, such - oh my God! - such a degrading manner, still, my humor survives in these maids," she said. "I'm very proud of them." [Vulture]

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have one of those insipid nicknames, and it is Ashmi. They are together, like, for real. [Hollyscoop]

What do you think housekeeping found after Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan and Ellen Von Unwerth spent the night at the Chateau Marmont? [NYDN]

Michael Sanders, father of director Rupert Sanders, says everyone needs to calm the fuck down about his son embracing and kissing Kristen Stewart: "From what I gather nothing really happened and it is all a lot of fuss about nothing. I should imagine it was something very brief," he said. "She is a very pretty girl and when you work that closely with someone for so long, sometimes things happen." [People]
Here are more pix of Kristen Stewart being embraced by Rupert Sanders. [Yeeeah]

Do you have thoughts about Jennifer Lopez's brightly colored and desperately frantic new video? Because I can't form thoughts, except that I feel bad for the wolf dogs. [NYDN]

Do you like that show The Killing? Yeah? Well it's been canceled. Sorry. [TVLine, LA Times Show Tracker]

BREAKING: Sofia Vergara's bra size is 32F. Yes, this is news. [Wow Report, Just Jared, via Allure]

Let's take a moment and absorb the fact that there is a new couple in Celebland. Pizza-sharing lovers Katy Perry and John Mayer, who shared a pizza while they were sharing a pizza together over the pizza that they were sharing. Together. In bed. [Us]Justin Bieber has a filthy mouth, and a fellow airline passenger had to tell him the expletives he was spouting were inappropriate. This is what happens when your guardian is named Scooter. Ill-mannered. [TMZ]Hans Zimmer, who composed the music for The Dark Knight Rises, has announced a new song called "Aurora" dedicated to the victims of the Colorado theater shooting. [MTV]How hungry are you for the new album Duran Duran will be making after the Olympics? Hungry like the fox? Hungry like the tiger? No, you're hungry like the Canis lupus, which, according to Wikipedia, "is a species of canid native to the wilderness and remote areas of North America, Eurasia, and North Africa." [L.A. Times]Dr. Conrad Murray has invited Katherine Jackson to come visit him in jail. Cough. [ABC News]Chris Brown got into a fight? How odd. What uncharacteristic behavior. [NYDN]If you're feeling like things cannot get worse, you're wrong: Paris Hilton has a crush on Chris Brown. [Radar]Shit, who knew Gladys Knight was so scary? [TMZ]My pretend boyfriend bought us a new house. [Radar]Remember how The Game canceled his wedding? Well it's back on. Hopefully you didn't return your gift. [TMZ]Emily The Bachelorette is gonna take Jef With One F's last name, not that you give a fuck. [People]Twitter was down on Thursday, and it might have been because those glazed petit fours from One Direction were trying to have a Twitcam sesh. Cute boys ruin everything. [MTV News]Krayzie Bone from Bone Thugs (where else?) has been busted for drunk driving. See you at the crossroads. [TMZ]Really don't picture Jay-Z drinking a beer, but here he is narrating a spot for Budweiser's Made in America Festival. [The Life Files]Best wishes to Darlene Love, who is recovering from a heart attack. [AP]MTV is bringing back Daria! For like, a few days. But still. [Pop Candy]Not celeb-related but OMG WHITE LION CUBS! [Buzzfeed]

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