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Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Ryan Lochte Gives Womankind Questionable Fashion Advice [Ryan Lochte]

Ryan Lochte Gives Womankind Questionable Fashion Advice It's been a busy week for your boyfriend US swimmer Ryan Lochte. First, he moistened America's vaginas by undulating suggestively through the water whilst wearing a Speedo, then he dried them back up again when he tried to wear that stupid America grill on the medal stand after winning gold. But even in the midst of his exhausting schedule of winking at cameras, making that fist clenching and shaking them over opposite shoulders "I WIN! I AM A WINNER" gesture, and having sex with you in your imagination, he's found time to share his thoughts on The Ladies — what's confusing about them, what clothes look good on them. And, Ryan — bless his aquatic, superhuman heart — should probably stick to swimming.

Women's Health chatted briefly with Lochte at the Games and asked him some gravely important questions about how he feels about women. They're confusing, but also interesting, he offers. He likes to have sex with the lights on and he rarely wears clothes, he adds. And if he could have one super power in the world, it would be the power to read women's thoughts (here's the point in the interview that no one had the heart to tell him that if he could tell what women are thinking, it's that they wonder how Ryan Lochte's penis looks) like how Mel Gibson reads women's thoughts in What Women Want. Oh, Ryan.

But the best bit of the interview is when they ask him what clothes look most fetching on a woman. Thankfully, Lochte didn't say "nothing," which is a thing that guys who will give you crabs say; instead, he said they look good one of his long sleeved button down shirts "and that's all," or in white jeans.

White jeans. Ryan Lochte's dream girl is a YM Trauma Rama anecdote waiting to happen.

[Women's Health]

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Monday, 30 July 2012

Mitt Romney Gives Zero Fucks About His Fancy Dancing Horse's Olympic Dreams [Mitt Romney]

Mitt Romney Gives Zero Fucks About His Fancy Dancing Horse's Olympic Dreams Mitt Romney's visit to the UK would have been disastrous enough if he'd just shut up after pissing off the British press, the Prime Minister, and the mayor of London. But he had to take it a step farther and go beyond insulting his host country and their Olympic efforts — in an attempt to get people to think he was cool, he strongly, vehemently disavowed interest in watching his wife's expensive dressage horse compete in equestrian events. He won't be watching at all, he says. He doesn't care! In fact, he doesn't even know what a horse sport is! Horses are for dorks!

The anti-horse comments came during the same Brian Williams interview that produced the puzzlingly bizarre comments about how London's Olympic preparations were inadequate because there ain't no Olympic party like a Salt Lake City Olympic party because a Salt Lake City Olympic party was organized by Mitt Romney. Williams urged Romney to share his feelings about having a personal stake in these Games; one of Romney's horses will be competing in the equestrian event. But rather than express pride in his nerdy rich guy hobby, Romney acted like he didn't know anything about the horse he'd spent a small fortune on training, maintaining, and housing. The Presidential candidate told Williams, "I have to tell you, this is Ann's sport. I am not even sure what day the sport goes on. She will get the chance to see it. I will not be watching the event. I hope her horse does well."

Romney then pretended that he didn't know how a dressage competition works, even though, as the LA Times points out, he's a huge Olympics nerd who has picked competition music for his horses in the past.

All of this kind of reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons when the family goes on vacation and Lisa tries to rebrand herself as a cool wearer of sunglasses who says "like, whatever" a lot. Or that part in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan's character pretends to be bad at math so her floppy haired crush will like her. Mitt's all, I'm not a clueless rich guy with one of the most expensive hobbies in the world! I don't even know what a hundred dollar bill looks like! Who's on that? Lance Bass? I don't like horses, I like dirt bikes and saying Git Er Done. Vote for me for America's Prom King. I will throw a kegger that doesn't serve caviar because I don't even know what that is!

Mittens, if you have to lie about your true self in order to get people to accept you, they're not your real friends.

[LAT]

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Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Magician Monitor Gives A Diagnostic Check Of Your Mac

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Months after you purchase and use a Mac—or any computer for that matter—it may stop performing at a rapid speed like it did fresh out of the box. We stuff our machines with applications; hundreds, if not thousands, of bookmarks; all manner of documents, photos, music files—plus all the little unknown items that get thrown into the Home Library folder. Leave 5-10 applications running at the same, and you may experience the beach ball of death, or you may have to get a cup of coffee while you wait for Microsoft Word to fully launch.

There are things that contribute to a Mac’s performance, but according to Joe Kissell, author Taking Control of Speeding Up Your Mac, three of the most important contributors to a Mac’s slow performance include, CPU power (the computer’s brain where all the calculations happen), RAM (random-access memory—in which “program code and data is stored and retrieved during use”), and disk speed (the hard drive or solid-state drive that stores all your software, preferences and files.) Checking these items can sometimes help you understand why your Mac is running slow.

We’ve covered briefly href="http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/four-free-tools-to-monitor-manipulate-running-processes-mac/">4 Methods to Monitor Running Processes on Mac, including the Activities Monitor that comes installed with OS X. The latter built-in application is helpful (href="http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/macnifying-os-x-learning-to-utilize-activity-monitor/">here’s how to use it), but you probably will not want to keep Activity Monitor open all the time to monitor’s your Mac performance—the window for the monitor it too big. This is where href="http://www.magicansoft.com/magican-monitor.html">Magician Monitor comes. It’s a little Mac diagnostic scanner application that you can park anywhere on your desktop and click on it to get an overall view of how your Mac is running.

Main Features

Magician Monitor shows the bandwidth speed, memory usage, the amount of free space on your internal hard drive, fan speed, CPU, GPU, and Disk temperature, and batter level, if applicable./> class="aligncenter" style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://main.makeuseoflimited.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/magican-monitor1.jpg?54167" alt="mac diagnostic scanner" width="218" height="531" />/> Click on the menu bar of Magician Monitor and you can see all the indicators, or you can minimize them individually and hide the ones you don’t need.

Preferences Features

As you might expect, you can make various changes for how you want Magician Monitor data to appear, including the refresh intervals for your computer’s memory, network, and hard drive./> class="aligncenter" style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://main.makeuseoflimited.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/screenshot722.png?54167" alt="diagnostic test for mac" width="452" height="247" />/> You can change the color settings for various displays, and you can configure Magician Monitor‘s paster settings to appear in the dock and/or menu bar.

Optimizing Your Mac’s Performance

Of course just having Magician Monitor provide you performance data will not improve the speed of your Mac. You will need to try different methods for optimizing your Mac‘s performance. In general, to get your Mac up to speed, you may need to reduce the number of startup items that open when you restart your Mac.

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If Magician Monitor reports that your CPU, GPU or Disk temperature is too high, it may mean that you need to close your Mac and give it some rest, and/or quit many of your unused applications.

/> class="aligncenter" style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://main.makeuseoflimited.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/memory.png?54167" alt="diagnostic test for mac" width="201" height="241" />/>

If Magician Monitor shows that your memory usage is full, you may need bump up your Mac‘s memory from 2gigs of RAM to 4./> class="aligncenter" style="border: 0pt none;" src="http://main.makeuseoflimited.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/harddrive1.png?54167" alt="mac diagnostic scanner" width="202" height="152" />/> And if you’re running low on hard drive, you may need to clean it out or move items off to an external drive. You can read about other suggestions for optimizing your Mac on the Magician Monitor website. Magician Monitor can only run Intel-based Macs, OS 10.6 or higher.

Let us know what you think of Magician Monitor, and about any other performance monitoring tools you use on your Mac./>/> Follow href="http://twitter.com/MakeUseOf" target="_blank" >MakeUseOf on Twitter. Includes cool extras.

href="http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/magician-monitor-diagnostic-check-mac/">Magician Monitor Gives A Diagnostic Check Of Your Mac is a post from: href="http://www.makeuseof.com">MakeUseOf

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