Marilyn Manson’s Paparazzi-Thwarting Plan Was Probably Way Better in Theory [Dirt Bag]

Ever have what you think is a really good idea when you're sitting around talking to your friends about your ideas? "Mayhap," you say, pouring yourself another snifter of brandy, "I'll write version of Macbeth that takes place in corporate America. Or I'll get my scuba certification and scour the Caribbean for sunken Spanish galleons. Or I'll scrawl ‘fuck you' on my face so that, when I walk through the airport, the paparazzi's pictures of me will be rendered useless. Useless, I say!"

That's what Marilyn Manson must have said to his friends before actually appearing at LAX with ‘fuck you' written sloppily over his face in a bid to thwart paparazzi from publishing any pictures of him. Of course, the gambit merely attracted a whole lot of attention Manson might not have otherwise received, and it also forced him to apologize to pretty much everyone else in the airport — TSA agents, parents with small children, and calligraphers. Maybe if the words had been a little clearer, his plan wouldn't have looked hasty and half-baked, but, as it was, Manson ended up looking like someone who'd fallen asleep with his shoes on at a party and been summarily drawn upon by someone more concerned with stealth than penmanship. [THR]

Chad Johnson, the NFL wide receiver formerly known by the Spanish malapropism Chad Ochocinco, has been arrested for allegedly headbutting his wife, former Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada. The couple reportedly had a heated argument after Lozada found a receipt for condoms in Johnson's Maserati. Johnson says he headbutted Lozada by accident, and since there are no bond judges scheduled to work Sunday in the Davie, Florida area, Johnson could very well spend the rest of his weekend in jail. [TMZ]SNL producer Lorne Michaels has decided to pass on producing the 2013 Academy Awards show over disagreements with Disney CEO Robert Iger about things like Jimmy Fallon hosting. Also, 13 is a really unlucky number and Michaels doesn't want to be responsible for putting the Jason Voorhees sizzle reel together in order to appease the machete-wielding movie villain. [THR]DJ Khaled apparently missed a few rent payments and consequently owes his Miami landlord $55,000, meaning that, if you want a live-in DJ to ensure that you throw the best parties, now would be a good time to contact DJ Khaled. [TMZ]Flavor Flav didn't pay his taxes for a while and now owes about $1 million to the IRS. [TMZ]Maybe if he'd listened to Pauly D's financial advice and bought gold, though, Flav wouldn't be so bad off as he is now — he'd be worse off because buying gold is for suckers. [TMZ]A judge has banned a businessman named Howard Mann from selling Michael Jackson memorabilia online because the Jackson estate holds copyright on MJ's name, which Mann was apparently using for multiple domain names in order to sell MJ-related products. [BBC]Conrad Murray is upset that someone posing as the mother of two of Michael Jackson's children was allowed to visit him in prison. [TMZ]Ryan Lochte's mom says that actually her son is too busy to date OR have one-night stands — he just swims all the time and brainstorms new catch phrases. [NYDN]All of France thinks that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to get married this week, but all of France also thought that the Maginot Line would keep the Germans out of Paris, so... [Mirror]50 Cent decided to be a charming gentleman and say, in reference to tKanye West pairing himself off pairing Kim Kardashian, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." [Radar]Megan Fox thinks she and Brian Austin Green were "destined" for each other, like in a cosmic soul mates kind of way. [Contact]Russell Brand, who was able to kick his own drug habit, wishes he'd done more to help Amy Winehouse get clean. [The Sun]Duane Chapman, better known to evil-doers everywhere as Dog the Bounty Hunter, was recently denied a visa to the U.K. because of his involvement in the 1976 murder of a Texas drug dealer. [Guardian]Jason Segel and Michelle Williams grabbed smoothies and drank them, if you know what I mean (I mean they purchase smoothies and then imbibed said smoothies, probably with reckless abandon until brain freeze set it). [HIMYM]

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Nancy Brinker Leadership Change Probably Won't Do Much To Improve Komen's Reputation [Disgrace For The Cure]

Fallout continues from the Susan B. Komen Foundation for the Cure's major PR fuckup six months ago, when it was announced that the organization would be cutting funds for breast cancer screenings at Planned Parenthood. The decision, rescinded within three days after the public outcry, was criticized for its possible right-wing political influence (and, in fact, led to the almost-immediate February resignation of former Komen VP and policymaker Karen Handel, a 2010 Georgia GOP candidate who had campaigned against Planned Parenthood during her run and was supposedly the driving force behind the decision).

They've been scrambling to regain the trust of individual donors, whose contribution fell from 5% to 30% nationwide, and are now defending the most recent development in Komen's recovery: Nancy Brinker's resignation from her post as CEO of Komen (she'll be heading up a more fundraising-focused role), as well as the departure of president Liz Thompson and two board members. Despite the clamoring from critics that Brinker step down, a spokeswoman says that the decision was unrelated to the Planned Parenthood snafu and Thompson had informed Komen officials that she wanted to leave in April but would stay on to do damage control.

However, breast cancer activists and former Komen employees have spoken out about the bureaucratic motives behind the decision to shift Brinker to "revenue creation" and leave the hiring of a new CEO in her hands. The Planned Parenthood incident was hardly the first that raised questions of Komen's level of commitment to the cause, just the loudest. Under Brinker's reign, the organization was accused of "pink marketing," wanton ribbon-branding by the organization without the efforts to back it up. One of the trickledown effects of this is less money donated to other valuable breast cancer organizations, according to Brenda Coffee, a breast cancer survivor and filmmaker at Breastcancersisterhood.org. Coffee further speculates that Brinker will still be "pulling the strings" from her new position.

And Eve Ellis, a Komen New York board member from 2004 to 2010, says:

That makes me think this is a public relations stunt. [Brinker] will be in a position to fire and hire and politicize women's health care. I understand that she will no longer be chief executive officer. But she will be the decision maker on who the C.E.O. is. This is problematic.

There's no word yet on who Brinker will be appointing, but Lisa Wolter, a Komen executive director in California who counts herself among the affiliate directors who voiced their concerned about the Planned Parenthood decision, seems determined to find the silver lining in all this. It sounds eerily familiar to Brinker's cheerful, oblivious press releases: "In a lot of ways, this whole spotlight on what we do has motivated people who care about breast health."

Um. OTAY.

'Komen's Leadership Changes Are Met With Skepticism' [The New York Times]

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If You're Not on Facebook, You're Probably A Sociopath [Social Media]

Back in the day (and by "day" we mean circa 2010?), you had to be careful about having a Facebook account under your real name, lest potential employers judge you by the number of red Solo cups in your profile pics. Now, it seems that employers are suspicious if you don't have a Facebook because your lack of virtual know-how signifies that you're "abnormal" — or, that you're hiding it because of the number of red Solo cups in your profile pics.

Psychologists also see abstaining from social media as a warning sign. "The Internet has become a natural part of life," psychologist Christopher Moeller told Germany's Der Taggspiegel. "It's possible that you get feelings of positive feedback through online friends." The magazine notes that both suspected Aurora theater gunman James Holmes and Norwegian massacre shooter Anders Behring Breivik lacked Facebook accounts, and implies it's equally "possible" that not having a Facebook means you're not only social inept but a murderer.

I, personally, am suspicious when I meet someone who doesn't have a Facebook because it usually means that person is desperate to be part of the counterculture and I have to prepare myself to hear a pretentious rant about how he doesn't even own a smartphone, either. BIG WHOOP. Look, we all know Facebook's privacy settings are evil and that, sometime over the next decade, Mark Zuckerburg will probably come up with a way to secretly implant non-optional minifeeds in our brain. Whatever. Every single person I know who doesn't have an account — and I can count them on one hand — secretly goes on their friend's Facebooks to stalk their exes, anyway.

Not on Facebook? Employers, Psychiatrists May Think You're a Psychopath [Mashable]

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