World's Least Creative Russian Politician Calls Madonna a Whore [Dirt Bag]

Like she's never heard that before. Please. Try harder. Russian deputy premier Dmitry Rogozin—apparently not a Pussy Riot fan—had some less than friendly words for our gal Madge. "Every former w. wants to give lectures on morality when she grows old," he tweeted. "Especially during foreign tours." Apparently in Russian twit-language, "w." means THE WHORE-WORD (so much learning today!). Rogozin also added, "Either take off your cross or put on your knickers." Ooooohhh, burn or whatever. Madonna's spokeswoman, who is apparently fucking hilarious, responded: "Maybe he and Elton can form a Madonna fan club." Zing! I love it. [CBS]

Lindsay Lohan went totally gorilla all over Clint Eastwood's daughter Francesca's 19th birthday party. According to a bystander:

"Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave," a source tells Us Weekly. "She was yelling 'I'm a star, she's a nobody, get her out of here!' One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing."

Then Lohan and her friends snuck up behind Eastwood and cut away the back part of her dress so that all the boys from Camp Thunderhead saw her bloomers!!! How vile! When reached for comment, Francesca said she's "not sure what exactly sparked Lindsay's outburst ... I still had an amazing birthday...Parent Trap is still my favorite movie." Hayley Mills would never pull this kind of shit. Ugh, Lindsay, no. [Yahoo!]

The Insane Clown Posse would like you to please note that "The FBI is wrong—Juggalos are NOT A GANG!" (In other news, he's also NOT AN ALIEN. He's a ghost, and he writes to us.) Quoth Shaggy 2 Dope:

"We are hearing too many stories from our fans about the trouble [being on the FBI list is] causing them. Just because you like a music group, doesn't make you a criminal." The other ICP member, Violent J, added, "We're not attacking the FBI, but they got this wrong. The Juggalos are not a gang, and that needs to be fixed."

Yeah. You're right. Juggalos are totally awesome and do awesome stuff all the time, just like any other group of music enthusiasts. I'll never forget that time all those Dave Matthews fans got together and bludgeoned that transient. Ah, summer. [TMZ]

Um, oh yeah—remember how Michael Jackson's kids also have that mom!?!? Well Debbie Rowe is back 4 the attack! Or, rather, 4 the benign acquiescence. She's that lady who wove the Jackson kids out of her womb tissues and some mystery sperm and then threw them at MJ and was all, "NO BACKS!" And she's weighed in on the recent custody kerfuffle that granted joint guardianship to Grandma Katherine and Cousin T.J. Rowe says she does "not object to the relief sought by Tito Joe Jackson and by Katherine Jackson," but she will "continue to monitor the situation to ensure the best interests of her children are met" and would "seek court intervention" if the arrangement between Tito and Katherine became "untenable, unstable or unsafe or in any way contrary to the best interest of the children." Yokey dokey! As long as somebody's keeping an eye on this slow-motion air disaster! [E!]

Here's Naomi Watts all lookin' like Princess Di and such. [Us]How does Kate Beckinsale maintain her "ageless" bod? BLOOD MAGIC! Wait, no, just yoga. [Us]Ryan Lochte got drunk at Guy Ritchie's pub and was "accosted" by several women—but like the caliente kind of accosted!!! [Radar]Adam Levine went to Gelson's in West Hollywood for ice cream. Quick! Run over there and see if you can huff any of his scent! [JustJared]Here's an overview of the Catching Fire cast so far. [EW]Some people want Ryan Lochte to be the new Bachelor. [ONTD]Okay, so it turns out that that picture of Taylor Swift introducing Conor Kennedy to her parents was actually a picture of Swift eating dinner with her brother. But that doesn't mean she didn't take Conor home to meet the 'rents. She did take him to Nashville, where they live. (It also does not mean that she is dating her brother. Everyone caught up?) Anyhoo all this flim-flam is missing the entire point here, which is that Taylor Swift is sooooooo pretty, you guys! I know I should care about real stuff instead, like unemployment or whales, but seriously she's so pretty. [People]Arty Farty threw a party. [Express]Bob Marley's daughter got to handle Usain Bolt's Michael Johnson. And she loved it! [Express]

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Orthodox Jews Are Unsure How They Feel About Divalicious Aspiring Politician Mindy Meyer [Mindy Meyer]

We can't really blame New York City's political reporters for obsessively covering Mindy Meyer's every glittery move — the 22-year-old is 1/3 Elle Woods (soo much pink), 1/3 Sarah Palin (Meyer didn't know who NY Governor Andrew Cuomo was and was surprised to hear that the state had legalized gay marriage), and 1/3 Yentl.

The latter part is what The Daily Beast's Allison Yarrow finds notable about Meyer. "If the political stories about Meyer are painful...perhaps that's because she's less a political or pop culture story than a crash course on the complications of being a single young woman in the modern Orthodox world," Yarrow writes. She continues:

In New York, many bloggers and thinkers have been surprised by how little blowback Meyer seems to be getting from Orthodox leaders, who so far have been conspicuously silent about her run-perhaps as a way to ensure than any concerns about her particular campaign aren't taken as broader ones about Orthodox women entering the political sphere.

That no woman has emerged as a political candidate, despite the Orthodox community's growing size and political sway, is largely a result  of women in the community being relegated or elevated, depending on one's perspective, to a domestic role-expected to dress modestly, live quietly and draw little attention to themselves in the outside world. Some women won't shake the hands of men. Others refuse to speak in gender-mixed company, be photographed, or wear a color as flashy as pink. Most put all work away from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown to observe the Jewish Sabbath.

Yarrow asked a number of notable Jewish people what Meyer's campaign means for the Orthodox community. Unsurprisingly, male members of the "modern Orthodox intelligentsia" are unimpressed with her "Diva of the District" schtick:

Blogger Heshy Fried who pokes at his religious Orthodox world as it slouches toward modernity on his blog, Frum Satire, says his contemporaries are embarrassed by what they consider to be a mockery and a misrepresentation of who they are and what they're about. He called her campaign "outrageous. She sounds like a teenager. We have people who are bright."

"There are some idiots who think this is good because it ‘proves' that orthodox women do have jobs," he wrote on his blog, "but in reality it makes them look like idiots."

But the community's women, many of whom are used to staying out of the limelight when it comes to media attention — remember the recent anti-internet conference they were banned from attending? — are a bit more sympathetic. Shana Carp, a community manager for a venture capital website who was raised modern Orthodox, said Meyer's childishness is not her fault; most Orthodox women her age are already married and taking care of their husbands and families instead of running for political office. "You could be 50 and be called a girl if you're not married with a kid," she said. "[I'm] not surprised her photos are sexy and not serious because she still sees herself as a girl and not a woman."

Other Orthodox women are thrilled to see someone like them putting herself out there. Chaya Polonsky, who runs a clothing business for Orthodox women, is thankful to Meyer for "being who she is as opposed to throwing her heritage out the window."

"I can tell you one thing, I have no experience in corruption," Meyers says on her Web site. Clearly "corruption" is not the only area in which she lacks expertise. Maybe that's why she should wait a few (or many) years before running for office — it's only a matter of time before she tells reporters that she can see Israel from her backyard — but it's still admirable that she's trying to break down her community's gender divides.

The Unorthodox Candidate: Mindy Meyer's Sideshow Appeal [The Daily Beast]

(Image via Mindy Meyer 4 Senate)

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'Black Women Who Look Like Me Aren't Lesbians' Politician Apologizes for Making Idiotic Generalization [Apologies]

Florida's now-infamous lieutenant governor, Jennifer Carroll, has apologized after suggesting last week that women who look the way she does, i.e. a conventionally attractive black woman who wears blazers and earrings, don't engage in lesbian relationships. More than a week after the ensuing internet cyclone of outrage, during which some commenters fairly criticized Carroll for equating sexuality with appearance while others unfairly criticized her for being less attractive than some of their own lesbian acquaintances, Carroll has deemed it necessary to rehabilitate her political persona. So, like a good repentant public figure, she wrote an apology to the Nadine Smith, the head of Equity Florida, a civil rights group that advocates for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Floridians. In her letter, Carroll she explained how wrong it was to hurt other people with words.

It is wrong and inexcusable to make a comment that hurts people, and that was not my intention. As a Christian, my faith guides me to love and respect all people. The false charges that have been lodged against me are no excuse for what I have said that may have been hurtful to members of your organization and to other Floridians. Please know that I am committed to treating every person with the utmost courtesy, respect and dignity and I hope you will accept my heartfelt apology.

Smith graciously accepted Carroll's apology and now, hopefully, the world can keep turning for a little while until it's time for Florida to again fill its monthly quota of strange/upsetting/fantastical news.

Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll apologizes for anti-gay remark [Miami-Herald]

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