Jessica Biel is apparently shit-flippingly threatened by the continued close relationship between exes Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz. She wasn't too psyched when they worked together in Bad Teacher, and recently Diaz did an interview in which this happened:
Justin and I had a journey together and still do. It changed, but I'm fine with that and so is he. I will always love the man in so many different ways.
Haunted by the literal interpretation of this statement (i.e. a mental slideshow of Cameron Diaz "loving" her fiancé in "ALL" of the different ways), Biel made like the grotesquely zany third act of a rom-com and rushed to confront Timberlake in Puerto Rico, where he is shooting a gambling drama with Ben Affleck.
She supposedly left him with an ultimatum: cut off contact with Diaz or their wedding is off. Should he? Or should he not? Or should they bring it on down to Omeletvilleeeellelele? [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]
Dennis Hopper's 21-year-old son Henry, who recently starred opposite Mia Wasikowska in the Gus Van Sant movie Restless, has been accused of plying a 15-year-old girl with drugs and alcohol and then raping her. He had apparently been talking to her on Facebook since last February and invited her to his Venice, California house on multiple occasions that ended with "sexual intercourse, forced oral copulation and sodomy." The girl's mother is suing for unspecified damages. [TMZ]
Over on the set of The Canyons, Lindsay Lohan was loath to go topless when the scene required it, but she felt better once she convinced the 10-man crew to strip down to their boxers with her, which is kind of a genius idea and should really be written into actress's contracts. And then, apropos of nothing, the item ends with:
As for her porn star cast mate James Deen — nine inches.
So now you know. Y'know, if you didn't know before. Don't you get the feeling that screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis is sitting in his stark white living room in a gazillion dollar contemporary chair and watching this all unfold through a snowglobe with cocaine floating around in it?
[TMZ]
Director Giovanni Agnelli has come to K-Stew's defense: "'I'll say right now what the manipulative media isn't saying... Kristen Stewart did not have any type of sex with Rupert Sanders. The spin that keeps growing on this story is staggering. There was NO on set affair. Stop printing LIES." [Daily Mail]
Meanwhile, Sanders is still walking around with his wedding ring on. [NYDN]
And K-Stew and R-Patz are fighting over who gets to keep their rescue dog. [Daily Mail]
Dennis Rodman wrote a children's book called Dennis The Wild Bull. [TMZ]At least people are into Madonna's new shoe line. [Telegraph.co.uk]Former CNN host T.J. Holmes was pulled over one mile away from his house for what seems like literally no reason, and Tweeted a picture with the caption "Driving while black ain't no joke!" [Instagram]Colin Farrell said that kissing Kate Beckinsale in Total Recall was "tricky" because her director husband Len Wiseman was watching. Surprising, 'cause you'd think Farrell would be into that. [Musicrooms.net]John Travolta has been shitting on Tom Cruise for being "weak" throughout his divorce. Isn't this the part where Xenu steps in like Mike Brady and makes the boys resolve their issues? [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]America doesn't like Ann Curry's replacement Savannah Guthrie either, so Hoda Kotb was flown to London to cover the Olympics. [NYDN]Agyness Deyn's family were as surprised by her wedding to Giovanni Ribisi as we were. [Monsters and Critics]Here are the MTV VMA nominations. [MTV]Here are Selena Gomez's new bangs that you give all the fucks about. [MTV.co.uk]Billy Corgan is a Belieber (With Butterfly Wings). [Contact Music]Snoop Dogg is going by Snoop Lion now, and I am going by Anna S. Ocelot. [NY Times]Russell Brand says he'll be "honored" to do his community service for smashing that guy's phone, which totally reminds me of that part in Cruel Intentions where Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon just helped out at the retirement home and then on the way home Ryan fakes enthusiasm and says things like "Mrs. Sugarman is cool." [E! Online]Pitbull received a care package from the city of Kodiak once he arrived in Alaska (thanks to a well-executed Internet prank). There was bear spray in it. Oh my God, also this. [Boston.com, Twitter]Here's Adam Levine on the American Horror Story set. [Vulture]Josh Groban is even more your 40-somthing-year-old aunt's sexual fantasy now that he will be making his own wine. [Business Wire]Fred Willard keeps losing jobs because of the Great Dick Whipping-Out of 2012. [Fox News]Katie Couric is dating a guy who sounds like Mr. Big, basically. [Page Six]Chay Tates posed for some random woman's bachelorette party picture and then bailed to hang out with Mark Ruffalo. [Page Six]Nina Dobrev disputes Ian Somerhalder engagement rumors by saying "[She's] not going to pull a Miley." [NYDN]Here is Kate Middleton looking like a hideous sea hag. JK, she looks great, because she always looks great. [NYDN]View the original article here
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Madge has released a statement on her website about what it's like to have a concert hall full of Parisians revile you. She blames it on a few lone "thugs:"
Olivia Munn has revealed that she suffers from trichitillomania, an anxiety-based impulse control disorder that causes the afflicted to compulsively pull out hair, usually from the head or face. Munn says that she rips out her eyelashes and has to wear fake ones daily. It doesn't hurt, she said, it's just "annoying." [NYDN]
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Light a candle today for Nadya "Octomom" Suleman, for her relationship with 23-year-old bodybuilder Frankie G has come to an end after three months of glory when she realized he was unable to handle her "fast-paced lifestyle," To be fair, she does wear a lot of hats: adult film actress, stripper, house forclosure-ee, dementor, America's nihilistic mascot, etc., and clearly needs a man who can keep up with her and whatever else will come out of her vagina. No word on what Frankie G's future holds, except maybe finding the rest of his last name. [NYDN]
If you haven't already learned more about this than your own extended family, the Kristen Stewart Infidelity Boogaloo may have had something to do with Robert Pattinson's close friendship with Emilie de Ravin, with whom he starred in 2009's Remember Me. They hung out all the time in New York while K-Stew was languishing in Los Angeles by herself and it was apparently a very hard time for everyone. The article then goes on to clarify that it's unlikely that anything happened because R-Patz is "against cheating." But, uh, who's pro-cheating? I don't think that's how cheating works. [Hollywood Life]