Self-Conscious People Are Thoroughly Reviled Just for Being Self-Conscious, Which Doesn't Help Things [Paranoia]

In case you weren't awkward enough in the myriad of social situations you're violently tossed into throughout your daily routine, a new study from the London Business School into how people gossip about other people behind their backs will confirm all of your paranoid fantasies about your co-workers all conspiring to not invite you to Wednesday cookie cake night. Demonstrating a healthy, measured interest in what people are saying about you is fine, — advantageous, even — but if you're extremely self-conscious, your peers will think it's weird and talk about how weirdly self-conscious you are behind your back.

The study, which sports the pithy title "Do I want to know? How the motivation to acquire relationship-threatening information in groups contributes to paranoid thought, suspicion behavior and social rejection," figured out that nosy people really do lose their noses if they start fixating on what other people are saying about them. Lead researcher Jennifer Mason Carr and her colleagues found that, while gathering information reduces uncertainty and "gives people a greater sense of control and predictability over their environments," too zealous a search for information can be off-putting, prompting people who weren't gossiping about a colleague before to start gossiping about that person's obvious paranoia.

Researchers identified two types of information gatherers — "blunters," who avoid gathering information at all costs by putting their hands to their ears and humming "Flight of the Valkyries" at an unreasonable decibel, and "monitors," who root out information with the tenacity of pigs sniffing for truffles. Monitors are more likely, during their search for information about what other people are saying about them, to become paranoid and, as a result, incorrectly assess social situations. In bungling those social interactions, say the researchers, monitors often precipitate the very negative situations they're desperately trying to avoid. "Just like Oedipus!" exclaims Sigmund Freud, twirling a cigar from beyond the grave. The study authors explained that a monitor's paranoid thinking often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy:

Drawing from theories of motivated social cognition and symbolic interactionism, we hypothesize that this motivation is associated with paranoid thought patterns and suspicion behaviors that can anger other group members and lead them to reject those who actively search for evidence that others are secretly trying to harm them.

In order to figure out how MARTI ("motivation to acquire relationship threatening information") affects people, researchers told 102 study participants to perform a certain task, suggesting that some members of the group were doing a better job or were in a "more advantageous position than other members. The participants were then asked if they wanted to exclude certain people from their imaginary endeavor. Anyone who possessed high MARTI qualities was, on average, 3.63 times more likely to be excluded, because nobody wants to hang around a grouchy old group-member like Pierce Hawthorne, who spends all his time recording conversations and thinking of ways to outsmart the very people whom he purportedly cooperates with.

If You Think Your Coworkers Are Talking About You, They Probably Are [Business Insider]

Image via Blaj Gabriel/Shutterstock.

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Being a Confident Badass Does Not Make a Female Athlete a 'Diva' [Gymnastics]

There have been several great stories to come out of the gymnastics competition at these Games—the Fierce Five's dominant performance to win the team gold medal, Gabby Douglas' victory in the all around, Kohei Uchimura's coronation as greatest male gymnast of all time, the British men's historic team bronze in front of a hometown crowd. But almost as frequently remarked upon as these triumphant tales was a different one more suitable to the pages of a gossip rag than to sports commentary: the American media's insistence on the story of the Russian "divas."

Nearly every time the Russian team appeared onscreen, one member of the NBC crew of commentators hurled "diva" at them like it's an insult. Yet for all the discussion of "diva," the trio never backed it up with any examples of truly negative, un-sportswoman like behavior.

Instead we're shown images of them crying after they lose a competition they hoped to win — and they weren't depicted as snubbing their opponents. Or we were shown a lone fluff segment in which head coach Alexander Alexandrov was interrogated about how "difficult" his gymnasts are. While he admitted they possess challenging personalities, he didn't seem to mind it all that much. In fact, he indicated that he believes that it's part of what goes along with being great. And as former head coach of the Soviet program, Alexandrov has guided many of the champions. He knows what he's talking about.

The Russian practices were described as all out "wars" between the coaches and athletes, whereas American workouts were noted for almost assembly line-like efficiency. Of course, the commentators failed to observe a key difference between the American and Russian teams: the U.S. has enjoyed gloriously good health (for elite gymnasts, at least) over the last year whereas more than one Russian is on the mend from injuries, which explains why their practices had not gone as smoothly as those of their rivals.

(Also, I've had just about enough of describing gymnastics, or any other sport for that matter, in militarized language. In the past decade, this country has fought two actual wars-we should know better. As thrilling and intense as athletic competitions can be, they're not comparable to wars. Several years of hard work is on the line, not one's life. As the saying goes, "There's no glitter in foxholes." That's because they're no gymnasts in foxholes, either.)

The preferred target of NBC's diva-lanche was 2010 world champion Aliya Mustafina. As the 18-year-old stood on the podium, waiting to get the green light from the judges to mount the uneven bars, Al Trautwig filled a moment of broadcast downtime by asking, "Have you seen any diva moments?" (Next time, if you've got dead air talk about the London weather instead.) This seemed particularly out of place because Mustafina, who should certainly be awarded a gold for the best eye makeup of the competition, was patiently waiting for her turn as the judges tabulated the score of previous competitor. That bitch.

Mustafina's practices have been perhaps more fraught than those of her teammates, in part due to her famously intense personality but also because she's been on the comeback trail from a torn ACL. This injury happened at the 2011 European Championships just as she was at the peak of her abilities and was looking to dominate the competitive season. Though she staged a remarkable comeback, she wasn't able to restore all of her difficulty. In 2010, she was unbeatable in the all-around. In 2012, she needed mistakes from the top gymnasts to challenge for the gold. Undoubtedly, this frustrated the uber-competitive Mustafina.

In the Cold War era, the Soviet gymnasts were unquestionable foes because of their connection to Communism. The Russian gymnasts of today, however, cannot be so easily turned into enemies. So perhaps "diva" has become misogynistic shorthand for "rival."

NBC struck "diva" gold during the all-around as Mustafina, who, after she fell from the beam during her routine, brushed Alexandrov, her coach aside as she went to compose herself alone. They showed this twice. I wouldn't put it past them to turn it into a gif.

And I can't lay the blame for this characterization solely at NBC's feat. The gymnastics media — which is about as niche as you can get — has also gotten in on the "diva" action. In response to Mustafina's brush off, International Gymnast editor Dwight Normile wrote, "Super talented and probably a perfectionist, Mustafina has a lot of gymnastics left in her—if coach Alexander Alexandrov is willing to put up with her. Brushing him off after her blown beam routine in the all-around final crossed the line in a coach-gymnast relationship. I don't care how mad you are."

While Normile doesn't use the D-word, his publication used it earlier in the week on Facebook to describe her training demeanor without any sort of explanation, which left commenters angry and wondering why she had been so maligned. Did she demand better lighting? A different spot in the line-up? Or did she merely express negative emotions instead of adorable ones? Maybe after her fall, she didn't want a shoulder to cry on or a cookie. Getting mad was probably the reason she came back so strongly on her next apparatus and took the bronze.

Russian coaches like Alexandrov have grown accustomed to having larger-than-life personalities on their competitive rosters. Since the fall of the Soviet Union, we've been able to learn more about the Russian women, who have proven to be an entertaining and dramatic lot. Svetlana Khorkina was perhaps the sports greatest diva. She emerged just a couple of years after the breakup of the USSR and quickly became known for her sultry floor routines and her outspoken outside of the gym. Khorkina was unabashedly competitive and when she failed to meet her own standards, she was forthcoming with her own frustration and anger.

Khorkina fully embraced the diva mantle. "I love being a diva," she said, "being a diva is magical. You can't catch her. She always comes out a winner."

Khorkina was not singular in her willingness to openly express her feelings on the mat. As gymnastics blogger Brigid McCarthy explains, it seems that Russians, in general, are more accepting of supposedly diva behavior. She writes, "I have asked many Russians I know and they say for Russians there are no negative attachments made to the expression of emotion. To be openly disappointed, angry, frustrated (with oneself, of course) is simply emotional honesty. It is more natural to wear your heart on your sleeve, to state your successes and failures, and to name your foe."

In many interviews before the Games, Russian star Viktoria Komova identified the American women as her chief rivals and expressed the desire to beat them. By contrast, the U.S. women merely spoke in platitudes about wishing to do their best and hit all of their routines (which of course they did and defeated everyone).

Ryan Lochte was open about his desire to defeat Phelps, the greatest American swimmer, and wasn't maligned for it. This is what we expect from elite male athletes—confidence, even cockiness, and the desire to win. Phelps is the best and it was only natural that his competitors would want to take him down. These guys weren't labeled as divas.

The women at this level, regardless of their age, are the same as the men. They don't want to simply do their best. They want to win. So why aren't they permitted to openly express this? And when they fail to meet their own high standards, why can their only negative reaction be tears?

After winning a team silver, one gold, and two bronzes, Mustafina finished her competition at the Olympics as the most decorated gymnast in London. NBC might not like "divas," but the judges seem to have no problem with them. Here's hoping that at the next Games, "diva" won't be hurled as an insult against any female athlete who has the gall to exhibit anything other than sadness or joy. They should be free to smile, cry — and even get angry every once in awhile.

Dvora Meyers is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Slate, Tablet and elsewhere. She writes about gymnastics and Judaism at Unorthodox Gymnastics, and she is the author of Heresy on the High Beam: Confessions of an Unbalanced Jewess. She blogs about woman-y stuff over at The Anti-Girlfriend.

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Sick of Being Alone? Try Playing More Boggle [Dating]

A new study out of Penn State shows that "playfulness" might be a key factor in attracting a human mate (kangaroos don't give a shit). It's the old "I just want a guy with a good sense of humor" line, only this time it's made of science! Exciting! Or, I don't know if it technically counts as science, but there was a survey (published in the American Journal of Play, which exists). So what we know is that people believe and self-report that "playfulness" is what they want in a partner, even if what they actually go out and bang is another story:

"Humans and other animals exhibit a variety of signals as to their value as mates," said Garry Chick, professor and head of the Department of Recreation, Park and Tourism Management. "Just as birds display bright plumage or coloration, men may attract women by showing off expensive cars or clothing. In the same vein, playfulness in a male may signal to females that he is nonaggressive and less likely to harm them or their offspring. A woman's playfulness, on the other hand, may signal her youth and fertility."

..."The fact that the subjects tended to rank 'sense of humor,' 'fun loving' and 'playful' at or near the top of the list of 16 characteristics does not mean that the mates they have selected or will select will actually exhibit these traits," said Chick. "In addition, the results may be skewed by the fact that most of the study subjects were college students from a western culture. Despite these caveats, it seems to us that signaling one's virtues as a potential long-term mate through playfulness is not far-fetched. Our results suggest that adult playfulness may result from sexual selection and signal positive qualities to potential long-term mates."

So...thank you Dr. Noshit from the Sherlock Institute of Duh Science! People like hanging out with people who are fun to hang out with. Still, snark aside, any documentation of humans being attracted to personalities rather than just bodies/wealth/security/social signaling is a triumph for personality-having folks everywhere. So who's up for some Kerplunk later? (Or as I like to call it, SECOND BASE.)

Photo credit: yuri_arcurs / Stockfresh.

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Topless Woman Raises Even More Awareness About Being Topless in NYC [Moira Johnston]

As you probably know, it's completely okay (as in, legal) for women to walk around topless in New York (and in a lot of other places, too). If you didn't know, however, topless activist Moira Johnston is going out of her way to spread the good word about women being able to bare their chests everywhere men can bare theirs.

According to a profile on the Daily Beast, Johnston has been meandering topless around the city all summer, having her picture taken both from a creepy distance by some leering gentleman, and up close, surrounded by some golly gosh impressed out-of-towners. Even Michael Lohan tweeted a picture of a UPS guy reacting (we can assume by dropping someone's box of vintage cocktail glasses) to Johnston, a picture that daughter Lindsay retweeted to four million faithful followers. Johnston, in other words, is sort of a big deal, and has been gaining recognition for her exploits ever since January when she was kicked of a yoga class for popping off her top.

The Daily Beast's Lizzie Crocker wonders, though, if Johnston's activism is really all that necessary anymore. Johnston runs into a lot of people who already know about the topless law and regard Johnston with only mild surprise before going about their day. If Johnston is helping normalize toplessness in New York, that's great, but how many people — men and women — just walk around, or would just walk around, without a top anyway? Private institutions, notes Crocker, are allowed to make their own rules (as long as those rules don't discriminate against race or sex), so anything other than having a nice jaunt through the city and maybe picking up and creamsicle from an ice cream cart would seem too inconvenient for toplessnes. It's one thing to walk around the streets in a state of undress, but it's another to try and pull a shirt over your head on the morning rush to work.

Johnston, formerly a topless dancer in Philadelphia, was arrested earlier in the spring when she refused to put a top on outside of a children's park in Union Square. Since then, she's filed 13 complaints against yoga studios (which would seem to count as private, but yoga people can be really supercilious so screw them and their prudish stretching). She says that she's supporting a woman's choice to go topless and thinks that "every woman should do it on her own terms." And even though things can get creepy, — one passerby told Johnston he'd just gotten out of prison and was going to hurt her — Johnston hasn't had too much trouble with street harassment.

Moira Johnston Goes Toples in N.Y.C. to Raise Awareness for the Right to Bare Chest [Daily Beast]

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