Comment of the Day: The Little-Known Conrad Slimak Urban Legend [Reader Roundup]

Aug 7, 2012 8:35 PM  

Thanks to my very recent and ill-advised viewing of Candyman, AndPreciousLittleofThat has secured a second consecutive COTD by offering us the urban legend of Lollapalooza child-puncher Conrad Slimak:

I heard if you say "Conrad Slimak" three times in a totally dark bathroom, he'll come through the mirror and punch you in the gut. Provided, of course, you're under 12.

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Comment of the Day: Mother Goose Reads the Jack Schaap Scandal [Reader Roundup]

Aug 2, 2012 8:35 PM  

And now, a nursery rhyme, courtesy of moderate_chaos:

Jack Schaap he could not fap
His wife would eat no peen
And so between the preach, you see
He licked the local teen.

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Comment of the Day: Heed the Ten Canine Commandments [Reader Roundup]

Aug 1, 2012 8:30 PM  

A day-late by popular demand, I present to you the Ten Canine Commandments, as cribbed by pricekx from the apocryphal Book of Canine:

Nah...it's a direct quote from the Canine version of the American bible. The 10 commandments in that book are:

1. Thou shalt have no pack leader above me
2. Thou chew toys shall not be in my image.
3. Thou shall not take the name of DOG in vain
4. Remember the afternoon nap time and keep it holy
5. Honor those who feed you that thy days may be long
6. Thou shalt not hump human's leg
7. Thou shalt not sniff the bitch next door
8. Thou shalt not chew thy owner's leather shoes
9. Thou shalt not piddle inside thine abode
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's yard

I believe the fleas is brought up in the New Testament, but as my pup is still working on #6, I haven't gotten that far yet.

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Comment of the Day: Don’t Cut the Cord [Reader Roundup]

Jul 31, 2012 8:30 PM  

How will you be able to tell when the Fifty Shades of Grey baby-boom finally hits? SkaHimself offered a plausible, if, um, graphic, answer:

You'll know its a greybaby when it's birthed with the umbilical cord wrapped around it's neck while it's pleasing itself at the same time.

"Don't cut the cord you fucker! I'm almost there!"

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Comment of the Day: ‘Sentimentality Is a Superstructure Covering Brutality’ [Reader Roundup]

Jul 30, 2012 8:30 PM  

Mamie made good use of Carl Jung (presumably Carl Jung as portrayed by Michael Fassbender) to explore the darkest mysteries of the "cult of the embryo":

Carl Jung had it right: "Sentimentality is a superstructure covering brutality." The right's incredible sentimentalization of the unborn—all that organized weeping and wailing over all those wee little perfect babies who must be protected at all costs—has grown over the decades in direct proportion to their utter viciousness toward the post-born, including the methodical slashing of funds and programs that feed, clothe, shelter, medicate and educate needy humans once they've left the sacred womb.

At some level, their cult of the embryo really is, I suspect, intended to hide their soulless and bloody-minded brutality from themselves as much as from the rest of us, kind of the way someone like Larry Craig sweatily and zealously votes for legislation that upholds the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.

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